Empathy in Action -- Identity & Leadership -- Learn & Lead

Identity & Leadership

Empathy Is Two Skills, Not One

You now know how to say what you think and how to ask questions that actually open a conversation. Empathy is what you do with what you learn once someone answers.

Most people think of empathy as one thing, but psychologists who study it closely have found it is really two separate skills. One is understanding what someone else is thinking, seeing a situation through their eyes. The other is actually feeling something in response to what they are going through. You can be strong in one and weaker in the other, and true empathy in action uses both together.

This section walks through both parts, why either one alone falls short, and how to combine them into a response that actually helps.

You can understand exactly why someone is upset without feeling much of anything. You can also feel upset for someone without really understanding what they need. Empathy in action means doing both at once, and then following through with a response that actually helps.

On the two sides of empathy

Reflection

What Students Sometimes Think

Here are some thoughts students have shared about trying to support a friend.

All of these are honest responses. Knowing how to actually help someone is not always obvious, even when you care. What this section explores is what empathy is really made of, and how to turn it into something useful.

Practice

Check Your Understanding

Six questions on the ideas from this section. You will get immediate feedback after each answer.

Question 1 of 6

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Well Done

You have explored the two parts of empathy, why either one alone falls short, and how to combine understanding and feeling into a response that actually helps. The next step is a small one: the next time a friend tells you something hard, try to name both what they might be thinking and what they might be feeling before you respond. Head back to Rising Leaders to explore what is next.